Over Your Shoulder
by Pufferfish8D
Summary: Riku wanted nothing more than to disappear off the face of the earth-Sora wanted to know why.
1. Chapter 1

When it came to acting, for Sora, there wasnt much thinking involved.  
>For example, when he saw someonea boy, a boy he thought hed seen before, but wasnt really surestanding on a window sill about seven stories elevated, his silver hair blowing around his face and his eyes determined, but glazed over and lost, he didnt spend any time wondering who the boy was, or why he was doing it, he plainly ran, and that was that.<br>The pain was sweltering, and had no defined point, but it basically swallowed Sora whole, so that he didnt remember screaming, and his entire vision was a deep crimson color that was slowly fading to black.  
>But, the body atop his was breathing hard, and was very, very much aliveand furious.<br>In Soras mind, no time had passed between the incident with the boy in the window and that moment when he came to, finding his family surrounding him.  
>Wha-? Sora wondered aloud, all the pain from earlier gone and forgotten; at that point, everything was put to the side but that exact moment, because that was how Sora chose to live. Hed act without thinking, live in the moment, and then, when he was alone, hed think back to whatever was dynamic, and hed wonder if the situation had been different, if he wouldve done the same thing twice.<br>Most of the time, the answer was no, but at that moment, the point was moot.  
>Nobody would meet his eyes. His family looked to be on the verge of tears as a whole, and he could feel certain things, in the back of his mind, that werent exactly coming from him. And Roxashis twin brother, and his mirror image other halfwas worrying his lip until it bled crimson.<br>Whats going on? Sora questioned softly, his eyes wide, lost and afraid.  
>Soras mother cried and Soras father took a deep breath, Soras older brother Cloud made a point of staring at one spot on the wall for a very long time, making Soras breathing hitch.<br>The doctor, although hed earlier informed Soras relatives that hed wait until they were done, took that moment to walk in, a somber look in his dull hazel eyes and his silver hair pulled back into a ponytail that was loose and close to falling out, and failed in its one duty of holding back the mans hair.  
>Sora, when Riku landed on you, he caused a massive amount of damage to the lower part of your spinal cord, and paralyzed your legs.<br>It wasnt the information that shocked Sorain fact, he had no comment, sarcastic or otherwise, to the verity that he wouldnt be able to move his legs. His eyes went wide, and mouth dropped open ever so slightly, but it wasnt because he couldnt walk.  
>Riku?<br>He knew that name.  
>Roxas deadpanned.<br>His parents simultaneously stood and walked out of the room.  
>Cloud rolled his eyes.<br>Sora was and always would be something else.  
>Yes, Riku Wataya, the doctor replied, and left it at that, walking out, most likely to speak with Soras parents.<br>Sora yawned, a smile still playing on his lips, and he attempted, to no avail, to turn onto his stomach. His lips twitched downward, and that was when the news sunk in.  
>Roxy, he whispered, leaning forward on his elbow, just slightly, for the first time getting a reaction from his twin. The blonde frowned as well, eyebrows furrowing, and he turned further away from Sora, shaking his head and then shrugging in response to an unspoken question.<br>Sora fell back against his pillow, and looked up at the ceiling.  
>~OYS~<p>

Even though Sora wasnt alone, he still just let go of reality and thought.  
>Roxas was curled against his side, his breathing ever so slightly uneven and he clutched at Sora like the boy would disappear, because when he woke up that morning, he never thought that something bad would happen, something like this.<br>Sora, unlike Roxas, he just thought about anything that came to mind, which actually made sense if you didnt think about it too much.  
>Even though he got the worst possible end of the stick, he was glad Riku was okay, and wanted to go see him in person.<br>Sora wanted to know why.  
>Roxas Sora trailed off, biting his lip. This was the sixth time hed wished he could fidget around, because staying in one place on a hospital bed was not at all comfortable. Staying in one place in general wasnt comfortable.<br>Hmm? Roxas murmured, looking up at his twin with rimmed red eyes.  
>Why do you think he did it?<br>Roxas cocked up an eyebrow and rolled his eyes, because the question was blatantly Sora-like.  
>I dont know, I dont exactly plan to jump out of a window anytime soon, so Roxas deadpanned and sighed, a weary look in his eyes.<br>Why would someone just want todie? I dont get it, Sora muttered.  
>You should worry more about yourself, Sora. Your legs are temporarily paralyzed and youre wondering why some guy you dont even know jumped out a window.<br>I think this happened for a reason though Rox.  
>The reason is that you dont worry about yourself, Sor, Roxas repeated.<br>Roxas Sora sighed, but not in exasperation or anything. It was just a sigh, a sigh that said if I worried about myself, I wouldnt be able to worry about other people as well.  
>I dont know if I can lift you, fat ass, Roxas mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut.<br>Im not fat, he snorted and pouted out his bottom lip.  
>I know, but I dont think I can lift you, Roxas deadpanned.<br>Go get Cloud then, please. I need to see Riku.  
>Sora, Roxas warned, frowning slightly.<br>Please, Sora whined desperately.  
>Why do you need to see Riku so bad anyway? Roxas hissed.<br>I need to find out who he is, Sora whispered.  
>Roxas obliged.<br>~OYS~

To Sora, things didnt really make sense. But, to Sora, the thing that made the least sense was Sora.  
>Rolling in a wheel chair was hard, because Sora didnt really know how to steer and he was getting frustrated, and Roxas didnt come with because it was Soras problem.<br>Sora wondered what issue Roxas had with Riku, because Roxas behavior was very un-Roxas-like.  
>Rikus room was only down the hall, on the opposite side.<br>Getting through the door was a challenge, but not as bad as getting down the hall in the first place, and Riku didnt even acknowledge him when he entered.  
>Soras mind went blank. Sora wheeled himself forward, slowly, as though not to disturb the silence that was thick and silky in the room. But the wheels of Soras chair squeaked at every movement, and he abandoned that plan without a second thought.<br>Riku Wataya?  
>Sora made it to the edge of the bed.<br>Riku lied there wordlessly staring at one seemingly important spot on the wall, his hands wrapped around his stomach; he had no shirt on, and Sora could only wonder why. There was nothing in the room, besides a discarded hospital gown in the corner the color of pukea repulsive green that was a disgrace to anything green in the world.  
>Rikus hair was in his face.<br>Sora panted very softly, because he hadnt realized how hard it was to use a wheelchair and it really bothered him, but he discarded the thought in one of the messy piles of mental notes in his head to probably be discarded again later for something more vibrant and interesting.  
>Riku seemed pretty much unharmed by the massive jump he took earlier.<br>That disturbed Sora as well.  
>Riku, Sora said again, his voice coming out confident enough, even though for some reason his stomach was tying itself in knots and his breathing was still subtly labored.<br>That spot on the wall was almost too interesting to Riku.  
>What are you doing?<br>Sora eyes went wide; he sucked in a breath, and looked uncannily like a dear in headlights, seconds from unchangeable doom.  
>Riku looked up. Sora tried really hard to turn his head to face the door, but finally settled on rotating the chair, which took much longer than it should have.<br>The man in the doorway was Soras doctor, and he was frowning at them both like hed caught them doing something that was generally unacceptable, regardless of whether or not they were alone, or anything else that would make the situation different.  
>I-I just<br>The guy softened slight, and turned his gaze towards Riku, flicking his wrist and making a few motions with his hands.  
>Riku just shrugged, face an unwavering kind of vacant.<br>Sora stared at them questionably.  
>The doctor smirked slightly, and began to spew some form or another of medical gibberish, which lasted all of three minutes, before he just said, Riku has issues with his hearing.<br>Sora responded with a comprehending, Oh.  
>The doctor walked out, without another word.<br>I can hear better than he likes people to believe, Riku sighed, nudging Soras chair with his foot, slowly turning him to face the bed.  
>He didnt come off to Sora as weird or off in anyway, and not really openly distraught either. So, he wondered some more.<br>Riku was facing that spot on the wall again, and his posture hadnt changed, and his eyes were still covered by shiny silver bangs, although they looked closer to ashen in the fluorescent lights of the hospital.  
>Riku was skinny, in that way that skinny can also be extremely toned and muscular, and he was tan, tanner than Sora had ever been even though he lived on an island.<br>Sora had forgotten why he came to Rikus room in the first place. Maybe just to see with his own eyes that hed actually saved the suicidal boy, or maybe it was just blatant curiosity.  
>He wasnt sure.<br>Riku, he said, quietly, and turned his gaze to a spot on the opposite wall, just beyond Rikus head.  
>Riku never replied, and for some reason, Sora was smiling.<br>Riku, the door slammed open once again.  
>Does no one believe in saying hello anymore? Riku shouted, gritting his teeth and scowling at the girl at the door, his hair flying around and settling out of his eyes for just a second.<br>Rikus eyes were very, very blue, but they were green too, and not like the abandoned hospital gown kind of green; green like the ocean, and the grass, and that one necklace his mom always wore and scolded him for messing with.  
>Just as quickly, Riku murmured, Sorry, and just as quickly, Riku turned his gaze back to the wall.<br>The girl sniffled, very subtly, but spoke loudly and clearly and it made Riku wince and his hair fell back into his face.  
>Riks, can I talk to your friend, really quick?<br>Wow, a real sentence, Riku mumbled back.  
>Dumbass, the girl muttered, and walked behind Sora to push his wheelchair gently out the door.<br>When she wasnt around Riku, the girl came off differently. She didnt have the same sympathetic, sad air about her.  
>Her hair was shiny silver, like Rikus, and fell over one of her eyes. The other one was a creepy kind of crimson that Sora doubted was natural.<br>She leaned against a wall, took a deep breath, and bit on her lip, as though preparing for a big speech.  
>Youre the kid right?<br>The kid? Sora tilted his head, so that his eyes caught the light, and they glinted a pretty blue that was similar to the sky.  
>Yousaved Riku.<br>I...I guess, Sora stammered, a little taken aback with little reason for reacting like that.  
>She stared at him for a long moment, with her eerie single scarlet eye and her lip between her teeth, and then she made her point clear, in as few words as possible.<br>Look out for him.  
>And she walked off.<br>And Sora didn't have the chance, nor the energy to go after her.


	2. Chapter 2

Riku had an uncannily desperate need for Sora. It wasnt something he planned to acknowledge, it wasnt something he was going to do anything about, as he just passed it off as another one of his freaky moods and buried his face further into the pillow. He was sprawled out on his stomach, even though it _hurt _so bad, due to the massive black and blue mark on his stomach that he got when landing on Sora, and he wished sleep would swallow him whole and just keep him there.

Hed known Sora barely a week7 days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, or 604,800 seconds. Hed known the kid for something like 15,120 suicidesone every 40 seconds10,000 boxes of toaster waffles, and more than a million phone calls and car accidents.

Absently, Riku flipped over and stared at the ceiling, wondering why, even though hed attempted suicide, he wasnt being forced to suffer through countless hours of therapy, countless hours of, and how does that make you feel, Riku?

That, once again, brought Rikus thoughts to Sora.

Why had Sora even done what he did?

Riku hadnt seen Sora all week.

Riku hadnt done anything to change that though.

That was around when Sora showed up, though.

Hey Riku, Sora smiled. He wheeled himself into Rikus room, parking himself by Rikus bed side.

Hey Sora, Riku attempted to smile back, clicking a hearing aid onto the ear opposite the boy. Whats up?

Um, Sora twisted his fingers around the hem of his shirt. I wasnt sure if your dad told youI realized a while ago that my doctor is also your dador if you even care that much, but I figured Id tell you anyway. Im getting surgery, some kind of nerve transplantation, I think.

Riku frowned slightly. I thought they said youd just recover.

Sora shrugged. I dont know. Its been a week, and they said I wasnt recovering the way they wanted me to.

Oh. Riku stared at the wall. He could feel Soras gaze on his stomach. Hey Sora?

Yea? Sora hummed, yawning slightly.

Whyd you-

Sora, its time.

Riku visibly winced as the blonde boy walked in.

Whyd I what? Sora asked, tilting his head. His eyes shined with curiosity.

Uh, Riku gulped. Nothingcome see me after your surgery.

Sora mock saluted him, before letting Roxas wheel him out. Yes sir, he grinned.

~OYS~

True to his word, even though he felt like his limbs had been haphazardly sewn together in a factory in India, Sora did come back after his surgery was well over and done, even though after general recovery time, it was well into the night.

Look Riku, Sora grinned, kicking his legs a bit. I can move, isnt it amazing?

Why are you still in a wheelchair then?

General recovery time, they said. They dont want me running around like a crazed lunatic or something. Ill be out of the chair in a week, and then on crutches for three, just to make sure. Theyre gonna keep me here for a while longer to make sure I fully recover.

I kind of just want to go home, you know?

I know, Riku said softly, settling himself cross-legged, leaning against the wall.

Howre you? Sora questioned, tilting his head in that perfect way he had. His eyes shined with concern, with wonder.

Im okay.

Sora raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

Does it hurt? Sora murmured then, eyeing Rikus stomach.

Only when I breathe, Riku sighed. Or lay on it.

Is that healthy?

Its just some deep bruising, Ill be fine.

Sora smiled. Im glad.

The silence commenced, but only for a second, which made Riku smile, just a bit.

Have you ever heard the song High of 75?

Uh, no, Im not much for music.

Oh really? Sora wondered aloud. I wouldve deemed you one of those amazing pieces of ass that walk around with their music blaring and an I hate the World attitude.

Riku deadpanned.

Did you just call me an amazing piece of ass? Riku was trying super hard not to laugh, not to do anything, to stay monotonous. _Youre a suicidal kid; youre not supposed to enjoy yourself._

Or, something of that sortmaybe, _dont bother, youre getting out of here and youre gonna jump out that same window all over again._

Yes, Sora grinned shamelessly. Would it be better if I lied?

No, I guess not, Riku shrugged.

Sora sighed, Stupid wheelchair.

Youll be out of it soon, Riku attempted, monotonously.

I just wanna run up and down the beach until I cant breathe, or something.

Hey Sora? Riku said, just as he did earlier, turning his gaze on that super fascinating wall.

Yeah? Sora wondered, smiling again. He was an insanely happy kid.

Whyd you do it?

Do what? Sora whispered. Despite his orders not to walk, he pushed himself out of the chair and settled himself on Rikus bed, by Rikus side, facing that same wall before collapsing backwards, finding the ceiling to be far more amusing than the wall.

Whyd youdo anything at all?

Okay, Im lost, Sora sighed then, looking at Riku with one raised eyebrow.

Never mind, Riku fisted the hospital sheets, inhaling the scent of everything that was too sanitary, trying to forget the scent of Sora.

The calm noiselessness didnt last very long, even though Riku kind of wished it would.

I dont really know, Sora finally murmured. He rolled onto his stomach, swinging his legs up, bent at the knees so the bottoms of his feet faced the ceilingprobably not because it was particularly comfortable, but because he couldand he himself was facing Riku, and rested his chin in his hands. Im not that good at thinking before I things, I justfollow my heart I guess.

Huh, Riku hummed. He didnt know what to say to that. He didnt know if he should say something to that in the first place.

Sora yawned again, folding his arms on the bed and resting his cheek on them.

Why did you? Sora whispered, somewhat timid in his words. His eyes were half lidded, but he seemed fully alert in the way he spoke.

Riku tensed, visibly.

You dont have to tell me, I guess, Sora murmured, his eyes closing fully, hiding pieces of the sky away from the world. I just kind of want to understand, you know? I mean, Ive had times Ive wanted to diewe all have, I think. I just never really knew that people acted on those things, instead of trying to change it like I did.

I Riku was speechless. And he wasnt sure why.

Even when things go bad, youre not alone, you know? Youve got to think of the people youll hurt if youact on impulses. But Im not really one to talk, because I do that all the time. I do stupid things all the time.

Like what? Riku spoke up even though he didnt mean to. He wondered if Sora would talk himself out, until he deflated like a balloon, until he had nothing else to say. Riku wondered if he should ask Sora to leaveor if he even wanted Sora to leave.

UhI bought a motorcycle before I could drive, from some guy in an alleyway.

Why the hell would you do that?

I was walking home from a party, Soras words just kept getting quieter. And I was taking a shortcut on my way, because I just wanted to get home. In case you were wondering, I wasnt drinking or anything.

And this guy just walked up to me, and was all like, hey, you, you wanna motorcycle? in some weird accent. And honestly, I always had wanted one, so I said, yeah, how much? He goes, fifty bucks. And I was like, are you serious? He laughed at me, really hard, and he smelled like cigarettes and something else, maybe shitty bathroom cologne or something. Yeah, dead serious, he said. I just pulled fifty dollars out of my pocket and took the motorcycle. I drove home, and almost wiped out twice.

My parents freaked out on me though, because quite honestly, I was supposed to use that money to buy our groceries, and I came home with a slightly jacked up motorcycle in the dead of night. I was only thirteen, and my dad yelled at me a lot, and I almost cried because we wouldnt have any real food until my dads next pay check. My mom had to stay home because Nami was only four, and Roxas was even more irresponsible than I was, considering he didnt even come home that night in the first place. We lived on crackers for a week and a half.

Riku felt like his throat was closing up, like the world was trying really hard not to swallow him and was failing in the efforts.

Riku, are you okay? Riku?

Sora put his hand on Rikus knees, staring into those eyes of aquamarine, and whispering words for only Riku to hear.

Nothing special, just little, In, out, youre okay, just pace your breathing to mine.

Riku just kept sucking in breaths like drugs.

You okay? Sora whispered finally. He felt like if he spoke any louder, hed upset the fragile boy again. Sora forgot so easily Riku wasnt just some random kidhe was a random kid that tried to kill himself and there was _something_ that drove him to do that.

Something that Sora had just said set him off.

Yeah, he whispered back, not sure if Sorad heard him in the first place.

The younger brunet collapsed then, the back of his spiky head against Rikus shoulder and his hands gripping the hospital bed.

Sorry, Sora bit down on his lip.

Youre fine, Riku said. It wasnt an _its okay, _and it wasnt a _whatever_. It just was.

I dont know what I said to set you off, Sora muttered. He sounded genuinely upset, which let Riku to believe, even for a second, that Sora genuinely cared.

Itsnothing, Riku said monotonously.

Im sorry, Sora said again.

This time, the silence was left unbroken.

~OYS~

In his sleep, Sora wasclingy to say the least.

His hands kept searching for the cloth of the shirt Riku wasnt wearing, so he just kept almost gripping Rikus stomach, keeping sleep far away from him that night.

Sora whimpered softly when he slept.

Kind of like all his worries assaulted him in the night, in the darkness where no one could protect him and he couldnt protect himself either.

But he clung to Rikus side like a leech, an arm and a leg slung over Rikus body, Soras face against Rikus shoulder.

To Riku, it was just weird. Not particularly uncomfortable until Sora hit him wrong again, and the cycle restarted.

He finally curled his fingers around Soras, and Sora smiled, peeling his eyes open for a second, making it seem like he was wide awake.

Riku, he murmured despairingly, squeezing the fingers coiled around his.

Yes? Riku wondered.

I know what youre planning, but, before you do anything stupid again, remember youll be hurting me.

When Riku opened his mouth again, Soras breathing was even against his neck.

Sora Strife was a mystery.


End file.
